Harvard Teaches Students How To Stick Things Up Their Butts

I can see why Harvard University is one of the top academic (and priciest) schools in the country. The university recently held a workshop, introducing students to anal sex and instructing them on the proper way to stick things up their butts. In the information age, nothing prepares young people more for the job market than mastering anal beads and butt plugs. I wonder if this is part of a new graduate program. Who wouldn’t want to be a doctor of ass sciences?

This is from The Daily Mail:

Harvard University hosted an anal sex workshop teaching students how to ‘put things in your butt’.

The talk hosted by adult shop Good Vibrations on Tuesday was one of many workshops held for Sex Week at the Ivy League university, which counts Malia Obama as one of its students.

Around 50 students attended…to learn how to stimulate nerves in the rectum, how to use anal beads, and how to avoid infections.

Then there is this:

The host, Natasha, also discussed ‘the stupidity of abstinence’, the value of ‘practice, practice, practice’, and a primer on using medical-grade butt plugs.

Medical-grade butt plugs? Are these covered by ObamaCare? Speaking of which, isn’t Obama’s other daughter named Natasha?

Also, how prestigious is it to be taught by someone who simply goes by “Natasha?” Apparently this prestigious:

“Not all men have penises, not all women have vaginas. The butthole is the great sexual equalizer. All humans have a butthole,” said Natasha.

What about people who have had a colostomy in which the large intestine is rerouted to to the abdomen? Does a stoma count as a butthole? I bet more people have had this procedure than penis or vagina removal surgery.

I’m pretty sure professor emeritus Natasha was trying to make a point about transgenderism, which makes her statement even dumber. What she’s really saying is that just because a person has a penis doesn’t mean that he’s a man if he identifies as a woman. Ditto on the vagina thing.

It’s actually a shame that Harvard revoked the fellowship of gender-bender traitor Chelsea Manning because he/she/it would have been a natural to lecture on this subject.

Meanwhile there are parents everywhere who sacrificed everything to send their kids to Harvard wondering why they took a third mortgage. This is a ridiculous thing to teach students who are preparing for the real world.

Remember when you were young and your mom told you not to put things in your mouth or up your nose? Same thing goes or your butt. In fact it’s even more important not to shove things in your rectum, your mom just never thought that was a lesson you need to learn. That a class is required to help people learn the least dangerous way to cram things up there should be a clue it’s not a great idea.

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